It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
