omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
How does one acquire holy water?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
