Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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