I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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