hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
