we have pet lesbian snakes
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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