that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I love you.
Bad choice
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