Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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