bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
