Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
