Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
