So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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