that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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