You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
