on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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