Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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