It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
