I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
