Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
either way he was missing a nipple.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Randomize
