Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
