She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
