I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
