K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
