I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
