It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
