Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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