You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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