if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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