so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
