I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
