last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
