is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
