Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
