so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
