Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
