True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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