I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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