Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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