I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
