Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
