My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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