I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
