you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
