She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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