And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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