u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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