i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
