SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
