So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Those nachos came to me in a dream
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
