so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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